so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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