You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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