Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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