you guys were way drunker than both of me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
