at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
