I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
