Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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