Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
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