yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
