Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
