why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
