if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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