Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
