Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

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  (952): He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened. http://tfl.nu/wacr
  Replies (28) Good night (2884) Bad night (1984)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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  (908): his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count http://tfl.nu/l83b
  Replies (39) Good night (887) Bad night (3089)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3308) Bad night (1099)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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  (512): Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over? http://tfl.nu/e898
  Replies (11) Good night (3477) Bad night (2432)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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  (317): Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat. http://tfl.nu/3hve
  Replies (11) Good night (2601) Bad night (834)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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  (617): He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up. http://tfl.nu/h2lf
  Replies (23) Good night (8291) Bad night (5042)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.

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  (229): I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland. http://tfl.nu/f2v9
  Replies (17) Good night (2748) Bad night (833)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1546) Bad night (468)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that

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  (210): And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that http://tfl.nu/fyxx
  Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (477)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (416)
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  (347): View more from New York

  There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery

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  (347): There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery http://tfl.nu/86su
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (418)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

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  (608): Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird http://tfl.nu/qw9p
  Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (282)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.

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  (413): Still at home. Videotaping hamsters. http://tfl.nu/3tt2
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (490)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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  (616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (329) Bad night (557)
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  (323): View more from California

  Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.

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  (323): Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all. http://tfl.nu/s4jk
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (197)

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