I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
