all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She bit a glass in half.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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