That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
