i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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