I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
