when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ttyl tear gas
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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