Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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