sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
