It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize