i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
