I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
