Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
