I could have mohawked her pubes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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