I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Its about making memories worth repressing
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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