No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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