smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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