So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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