Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You are a genius and a whore.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
