Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
