If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
