Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (677) Bad night (991)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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  (574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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  (908): Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution. http://tfl.nu/ms1p
  Replies (2) Good night (1687) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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  (302): remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block http://tfl.nu/55sp
  Replies (14) Good night (428) Bad night (1851) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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  (330): Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy." http://tfl.nu/8mx4
  Replies (15) Good night (3493) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1658) Bad night (5110) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.

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  (804): she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob. http://tfl.nu/tpno
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A

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  (603): i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A http://tfl.nu/1ey6
  Replies (28) Good night (1077) Bad night (5238) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.

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  (630): I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible. http://tfl.nu/8o92
  Replies (17) Good night (4551) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.

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  (860): We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun. http://tfl.nu/8k8b
  Replies (20) Good night (1951) Bad night (2562) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

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  (347): ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down. http://tfl.nu/rocj
  Replies (4) Good night (1565) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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  (512): I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun. http://tfl.nu/d4m3
  Replies (21) Good night (2585) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2619) Bad night (558)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

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  (314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help http://tfl.nu/q76e
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  (561): View more from Florida

  jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.

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  (561): jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect. http://tfl.nu/vkgr
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (213)

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