Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
