We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy