foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.