Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need water and some morals
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
