I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
