So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just pee around me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
