Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
