they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
