omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
