That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is Oprah even human
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
