I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
