Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
