i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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