Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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