I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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