It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
