There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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