Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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