Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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