Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I touched a dick in church today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
