Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
