Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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