Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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