Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
