Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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