just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
