Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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