Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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