i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
